Just say No...di Shodana

I know, it's Nadi.

So I had my nerves cleansed on Tuesday night. Perhaps a bit too well-scrubbed. I have only toyed around with second series a few times, and each time I've been aware of pretty intense feelings the day after.

Yesterday, for example, I was simultaneously buzzed and exhausted--and curiously loose through my shoulders and lower back. Kept trying to eat a bit more than usual, to bring myself back to earth. By late afternoon, though, I was kind of headachey. All of which was cured by giving in and eating the dinner I craved: a large coffee and potato chips. And some candy corn. Seriously, it totally set me straight, physically. And I never eat like that. So no idea what that was all about.

Still, strange emotional feelings lingered. Because I brought My Gift from the Universe to her lupus doctor yesterday afternoon? Because while we were in his office, I was thinking about how she'll be packed off to college at this time next year? Hard to imagine sending a kid with a chronic illness off to fend for herself, but of course, she has to grow up. Still, it's haunting my psyche.

So how much of these anxious feelings are a result of Tuesday night's practice? And what does it all mean? The traditional answer, of course, that I shouldn't be messing with 2nd series. So I have to laugh--I've always been the person who tries everything, who does what she's not supposed to do--why am I suddenly gifted with a teacher whose answer to my What should I do? type questions is always, "Well, try it and see." Why does the universe never give me a straight, definitive answer? Haha. I know. The joke's on me. Once again it's my favorite zen answer: Just don't know.