Why I am addicted to the internet

Cody talked a little today about his Ashtanga addiction. I took a break from work to read his blog, and other Ashtangis' blogs, and then I looked at ezBoard, and there was an entry from jms, who was coaching someone on jumpbacks:

Very important: use the inhale to facilitate the lifting, curling and tucking. And always, always look well ahead of the hands.

Oooh, I thought. Since I'm working from home, I can try this right out. So here I am in my home office, trying out the advice: Lift? Check. Curl? Got it. Tuck? Yup. Look well ahead of the hands?

No.

No, I haven't been looking well ahead of the hands. I've read this before, but I've only been working on the jumpback thing for the past week or so, so I've never had to remind myself to make this habit of looking forward. As it turns out, the looking ahead of the hands thing makes a big difference.

Those little tidbits one reads or hears that make such a big difference. Like Volleyball Guy's suggestion this morning during dropbacks: "Make your legs strong; make your shoulders soft." For a split second my body understood.

It goes against years of training. Too much strength training, for one thing. Too much rock climbing. I've never had penis envy, but I've always had upper body strength envy, and I've spent decades trying to compensate. Plus I had the "always be strong" requirement of a single mom for many years. In the end, it manifests as a good strength-to-weight ratio, but also as lots of tension in the upper body. I'm going to have to really work hard to break that habit.

The jumpback project goes on. At first a whole practice with all the lifts/tucks/folds made my shoulders pretty sore, but that stage seems to be over. Now I'm in the slightly frustrated stage, where the key is going to be just keeping my perspective and not turning this into a drama. Obviously, if I do it for a year, I'll be better next October than I am today. So just do it.

Supta kurmasana (don't miss jms's YouTube of the pose on ezBoard) is coming along well--my hand bind is getting nice and tight and strong--but the crossed feet business has me a little stymied. It's funny how I over-invested in one part (the hand bind) when beginning, which has manifested in a habit of really going for the bind. Now that that's working, though, I realize I have to pull some focus away from the hands and work some stuff out about hips/legs/feet. You know that story about catching monkeys by putting food into a jar that they can't pull their hands out of once they've grasped the treat? Yeah, that's my current supta k situation. To start figuring out the feet, I'm going to have to experiment with the pose, which means not always doing it the way I know will guarantee me the hand bind. So Ashtanga is teaching me about my pride and my greed. Thank you, Ashtanga (said in a grudging tone).

Seriously, though, it's an addiction with a lot of remarkable qualities. One of which might ultimately be to release one from one's addiction to Ashtanga. And even (and I suspect this is the point) to the body, to the self. That seems like an impossible asana from my current perspective, but I'm pretty sure that's where all of this is headed.