Carry on

The jumpback initiative is adding a whole new dimension to practice. For one thing, I have to think a little bit to coordinate them, and it is very funny to have thoughts between poses. Usually I have thoughts during poses--followed by simple, thought-free vinyasas.

I think I came to the current "practice alone" period because I realized that I had to "listen in" more carefully than I can when there are other folks around. I was aware of the fact that my breathing was getting out of sorts around Marichy D, in anticipation of the kurmasana/supta kurmasana/garbha pindasana/baddha konasana sequence. My mind would get lots of static through that whole part of the practice. Not freak-out quality static, but just busy-ness, flightiness. As if it was trying to escape.

A good bit of it, I think, was residual fear from all the collarbone pain I used to feel in supta k. Plus a dose of frustration and striving around the "how the hell am I supposed to cross my feet?!" issue. Anyhow, all of that is calmed down now. The issues are not resolved, but they are also not setting my mind and breathing aswirl every morning.

So now it's funny to throw in the jumpback dealio. It may actually serve to pull my mind a little more off the poses; it may knock off some of the striving aspect. The actual jumpbacks themselves? Still pretty rickety. Feet touch the floor, momentum is used, my breathing is not smooth.

Huang Po, in my pre-practice reading, had some words of wisdom. They were striking before practice, and are even more so, now that I've practiced and written this entry:

Why this talk of attaining and not attaining? The matter is thus--by thinking of something you create an entity and by thinking of nothing you create another. Let such erroneous thinking perish utterly, and then nothing will remain for you to go seeking!

On the one hand, I could understand that Huang Po wants me to quit blogging ;-)

On the other hand, I can understand: now go to work. And tomorrow, practice again.